Childhood Movies That Totally Suck Now
Nostalgia has a strong effect on how we remember our childhood. It makes us believe that certain aspects and times in our life were better than they actually we were. Today, we are going to dive into how nostalgia has blinded us into thinking these 10 movies from our child are actually trash. But, to offset the bad we will also rank our top 5 best movies we watched as kids. Get ready for a blast from the past, that just might upset you.
1. 3 Ninjas
Starting at the top of the worst list is 3 Ninjas. Do we need to explain this one to you? This film is extremely unoriginal and distastefully tires to be a comedy, fantasy, and adventure movie. Think a Karate Kid with a terrible production budget and annoying.
2. Blank Check
This movie doesn’t make sense at all. It was entertain as a kid, but the main character is in love with a woman who is three times his age and no one writing that script thought they were walking on the border of inappropriate. And if you didn’t think that was enough of a red flag, his best friend is a mid aged limo driver. To tie all the sucky-ness together don’t watch the movie if you’re prone to motion sickness, scenes in the movie use wacky camera vision that overall makes you nauseous.
3. Baby’s Day Out
Come on, it’s the blatant rip off of the beloved Home Alone series. Although, they decided to make it quirky by making it a baby and for some extra fun added a gorilla. The plot is quite the stretch, but one thing that we can all agree on is getting hit in the balls is always funny. That’s the only and best part of the whole movie.
If you were born in the late 80s and 90s, we bet you’ve seen The Pokemon Movie at least months. We remember it being epic, but when you really think about it Pokemon is the widely accepted cartoon equivalent to dog fighting. We know, we know — it’s just a cartoon. It’s not real life, but at the core of it all it’s pretty messed up. Plus when we re-watched it, it ended being a lot longer and much more boring than we remembered.
5. Space Jam
Sorry millennials, despite the catchy hip-hop soundtrack Space Jam sucks. The plot has us riddled with so many unanswered questions and it’s full of bad acting, jokes, and a weird over sexualization of a cartoon bunny. Nostalgia may tell you otherwise, but let’s be honest when was the last time you actually watched it?
6. Son Of The Mask
Nothing ever beats the original, especially if the original cast isn’t even involved. The film was overly loud and relied heavily on the visual effects, which were subpar to say the least. The whole time film set seemed to look like a budget Dr. Seuss book.
7. The Garbage Pail Kids
Can you say worst kids nightmare? Who even watched this film without having bad dreams for weeks on end. Not to mention that the plot line made zero sense at all and not entirely sure what the producers were thinking when they turned a trading card game based on grotesque children into a movie.
8. Howard the Duck
As a kid this movie seemed entertaining, but the plot line was flat and didn’t seem to have purpose. Plus watching it back as an adult the acting is mediocre, the prosthetics of Howard himself is creepy and the weird interspecies love scene. It’s in line with nightmare giving with The Garbage Pail Kids movie!
9. The Last Airbender
The live action version does not do the anime justice. There was no way they could fit in the character and plot development of a three season show into one movie. The film was supposed to be an action and fantasy, but there was nothing thrilling or fantastic about it. We were left bored and unamused!
10. Doggy Poo
For the millenials and Gen Z’ers we have the dog poop movie from 2004. Imagine the concept meeting for this. A group of people sitting in a room while someone pitched a movie about dog crap. They should have known it was sh*t from that first meeting.
Now for our TOP 5 best movies from our childhood.
Everything about the Sandlot is childhood film gold. The movie had amazing child actors in hilarious adolescent situations and memorable dialog. It’s made such a lasting impression that college kids across the nation go to Halloween parties as Squints and the lifeguard and PF Flyers has launched a Sandlot 25 Year Anniversary shoe designed after the iconic pair from the movie.
12. The Goonies
An classic Spielberg high-energy adventure film for kids. The movie is filled with everything you could want as a kid: crazy gadgets, Indiana Jones inspired set, Home Alone-esque pratfalls, and THE TRUFFLE SHUFFLE. Such an iconic movie, we bet it inspired Stranger Things.
13. Every Disney Film
We had to give other movies a fair chance and had to lump all of the Disney films together. Otherwise they’d be a majority of this list. All the classics like Aladdin, Lion King, Beauty and the Beast, The Little Mermaid, you name it – these films will withstand the test of time. You watched these movies, your kids will watch these movies, and your kids kids will watch these we’ll bet on that.
14. The Mighty Ducks
Who doesn’t love a good underdog story, especially one with a rag tag and unconventional team like the Mighty Ducks. We also give it brownie points for their social commentary! Teaching us kids at a young age that girls can be just as bad*ss as boys.
15. Honey I Shrunk The Kids
This film was definitely ahead of its time. The FX were pretty decent, even in today’s standards and the concept was original. And come on Rick Moranis – it’s a win just for that point! Our bets are that the new 2018 movie Downsizing with Matt Damon was loosely based on Honey I Shrunk The Kids.
Leave us comments about the best and worst movies from your childhood.